Not the end of the world - yet

Parts of me wishes it were. The tired parts. The lazy parts. The pissed off parts. But there are other wiser and more compassionate parts that know better.

Then again, if this is not the abyss - and it's not, we know it's not - then we are absolutely fucked.

I'm trying to be positive.. I really am. But with personal shit and global shit and national shit all pouring down at the same time, I'm just tired and irritated. 

Maybe if I sleep more I'll feel better. I know if I can maybe spend a couple of days alone I can recharge. If I can have more space.. I don't know.. I'm not saying it'll fix the world (no, that's beyond my magic powers), but right now I'm not after fixing shit... I just want temporary peace. I know it's temporary and it's okay, I still need it. I want very selfish, very mediocre things.. And I want to enjoy them. If the world burns tomorrow, none of it will have mattered, I know. But I still want what I want. Cause I'm tired. And angry. And fuck I just want a good break.

Know what.. I don't feel like finishing this.. Not right now anyway.. 

P. S. : I know you won't read this, but I love you so very much.. more than I can ever put in words. I thought I ran out of my legendary good luck years ago, but you're proof that it's still going strong. Most everything else is just the way of the world.